Not horse show related, but a sure sign of the times:

I was fucking horrified when the Philadelphia Eagles signed Michael Vick. Are they crazy? Like I want to see his dog-killing ass handling any balls but his own, and then only to put them on the chopping block.

But it gets worse. Now the worthless piece of shit has been re-signed by NIKE.

NIKE being FUCKTARDS

Are you fucking kidding me? You can almost get that some sports team would pay for his sorry ass, because, face it, the IQ level in professional sports is in the double digits.

But NIKE? NIKE, signing this douchbag? NIKE, the sports item that kids want as a status simple? NIKE, the same company that endorses the Olympics?

They should be fucking killed. I hope every dog owner in America sends NIKE a nasty letter and boycotts their sweatshop-produced, over-priced, not worth a shit on a horse farm, sneakers.

NIKE, the worst ass lappers in America

I'm sure all the music stars that have let NIKE use their music for their fucked up commercials are pissed. I can't see Sir Paul McCartney going along with this crap.

BOYCOTT NIKE and the EAGLES. Do not give either of these franchises a single dime as long as they keep Vick on the payroll!

Stupid bait.... don't get caught with it

(Note: All images in today’s blog are linked to the actual image on the website that market’s the POS. I didn’t scan or copy anything.)

As previously mentioned on this blog there is a lot of horse equipment out there that just advertises how incompetent is the trainer. Most of it is expensive, most of it is dangerous and none of it is pleasant for the horse. Sadly, a big name trainer endorses most of it

I wandered over to my sister’s today and in a fit of boredom ( well truthfully I was watching her work on her mower and saying nasty things about the inventor’s family), I browsed through several horse catalogs she had sitting around. The Schneiders and Horse.com catalogs were loaded with blog material. WTF are these people thinking selling some of this shit?

So let’s take some of the places that sell this stuff to task and point out how they are all about the dollar, and not about the animal their industry is built on.

Schneiders, you’re a bunch of guilty as hell shits.

Here’s our first entry in the “Absolutely Worst Stupid Bait On The Market” entry, and you guessed it, it’s endorsed by a BNT that felt putting his name on this torture device was a good idea.



So Bob Hart Jr., exactly what were you thinking when you decided it was okay to put a chain over the top of a horse’s head and a thin leverage chin strap that would tighten things to such a degree that there would be pressure points from the top of the head to the nose and sides of the face? I grew up surrounded by Arabians and good Arabian trainers. I’m trying to figure out at what point it became acceptable to openly advertise that you’re such an incompetent jerk that you can’t teach a horse to stand for halter without jerking the shit out of his head and making it painful?
Keep pimping this crap Bob and you’re going to make my Trainwhore of the Year list.

Here’s some more stupid bait from Schneiders.



I think that in order to buy crap like this you should have to take a mandated written test and also have to be licensed by a professional horsemens’ group that will attest you have the knowledge and light hands necessary to ride in such a bit. Yet, I have seen kids riding with these bits. I’ve seen young horses that are barely out of bosals being tortured with these things. And I’ve seen some nasty flip-overs in the line up when ZippoCrackBars decides he’s not going to back and instead goes up and over.

I saw this and my jaw dropped in horror. At first glance it’s just a caveson. But read the fine print and you realize that this piece of stupid bait has a really nasty purpose.


This horrible thing is by Billy Royal ® and it’s a royal piece of shit. That black piece on the chin is metal. It connects to not one, but two, crank straps. That’s right, it’s a double crank noseband with metal lying against the sensitive jawbone! WTF are they thinking marketing this damn thing? I hope some novice doesn’t buy this thing and use it with a curb bit! I can just see the huge bloodstain after the horse flips over on some newbies!

There was a lot more in the Schnieders catalog, but these three items caught my attention the most.

Then I looked at the Horse.Com catalog and realized that the presence of stupid bait has infiltrated even the most basic of horse merchandisers.

How’d you like to wear this bit?

Not only is this high port, but it has chain link bars that are narrow and just waiting to pinch the hell out of the horse’s lip edges. Add to that aspect the fact that it’s a wide palate bit with a very narrow curb chain. I can just see this thing folding around a horse’s jaw and the curb digging into the skin. Makes me wince! People that ride with this kind of crap deserve to be bucked off. Mike Beers, shame on you for promoting this kind of crap! At least have the decency to demand that a warning be placed on this bit that it is not for novice riders!




This bit is pimped by universal Trainwhore Sharon Camarillo. It pisses me off for all kinds of reasons. 1) It’s a gag bit 2) It’s twisted wire 3) It’s a curb on top of being a gag 4) It has those squared off cheek piece holders that add to the poll pressure. This bit is prime stupid bait. Putting it on your horse is like a flashing neon sign that you’re a complete idiot where horses are concerned.



Just where to even fucking start? This POS by Mikmar just screams “I don’t have a clue!” Come on people, since when is some travesty like this necessary to train a horse? It’s obvious Frank Evans is not testing these things out on himself before putting them in a horse’s mouth. I have to say I’m not a big fan of most of the Myler bits, but after perusing the Mikmar website Myler looks almost normal. If someone had shown up with one of these things back where I grew up they would have been dismembered and buried in an old mine shaft.

After making my eyebrows cross the top of my skull I then picked up the Stateline Tack catalog. I have to say I love the cover with the lead line class photo. The pony is awesome and his little rider is so cute. I’m not jiving on mom’s shoes, but if she wants her pedi ruined by a sharp pony hoof then so be it.
I usually get along with Stateline, but I did find some nasty stuff in there that caused me some dismay.



WTF is this thing being pimped by Pessoa? I remember when Pelhams were frowned on as being suitable for kids or novices that couldn’t handle a real double bridle. This thing looks like the illegitimate child of a nasty western correction bit, and a set of thunder beads. My old horse would have learned to climb trees rather than let me put this in his mouth. Pessoa, when did you become such a Trainwhore? Your saddles are great, but this thing…not so much.

Again with the Mikmar junk!


First off, if you add a curb strap this bit ceases to be a snaffle. It becomes a short-shanked, flat- cannoned, poll pressure inducing, piece of junk. Why on earth would you inflict this on a horse?
Are the Mikmar people stoned or just stupid? Can you imagine what Louis Ortega or Colonel Podhajsky would say if someone showed up with one of these? If it takes this kind of crap to get your horse to pay attention then he's missing some basics, and you're missing $169.00 for something that shouldn't be used for any purpose other than a paperweight.

What has the industry come too? Other industries usually get simpler as they evolve. Not the horse industry. We've gone back to the dark ages. Can you imagine what horsemen in the future will say when they dig this crap up? They'll think it's the Equine Inquisition. Sad, sad, sad!

Remember, all of the above are prime stupid bait! Get caught with it and you could end up being featured as a poster child here!

Knowing the limits, means knowing your horse! Updated

Great Britain's Harry Meade was disqualified should have been killed from the Burghley Horse Trials. The competition's ground jury ruled that the complete asshole he was competing an exhausted horse. Meade was barred from riding abusing his second mount in the competition.

The FEI released the following:

"Harry Meade (GBR) was awarded a red card and disqualified from the competition for his riding of Dunauger No. 14, who fell at fence 19. Meade was not allowed to ride his second horse, Midnight Dazzler. The Ground Jury, in consultation with the Appeal Committee, awarded the red card under Art 520 of the 2009 Rules of Eventing: "Abuse of Horse and Dangerous Riding," namely 'riding an exhausted horse' and 'excessive pressing of a tired horse."

Dunauger became stuck on a fence, requiring a delay of about 20 minutes while a crew removed him from the jump. It is reported the horse was uninjured.

The show organizers said Meade accepted the ruling and agreed he should have stopped the horse earlier on the course.

Really Harry? You should have quit pushing the horse past his limits and not over ridden him? You decide this in retrospect? You're supposed to be a horseman Harry. You should be able to tell when a horse is tired. Is that fricking ribbon so important that you'd endanger another living being's life? Guess so.

Next time you want to over ride a horse why don't you go run the course first and see how tired you are. Do it naked, covered in sweat and carrying a heavy weight on your back, see how it feels.

I've watched the Video and all I can say is it's even worse that I thought. The horse is sweaty and strung out just going into the course. Toward the end the horse has a classic case of floppy ears and he's even dropping to a trot, trying to tell his resident fuckstick rider that he's exhausted. Does Harry listen? Hell no. Instead he TROTS his horse at a fence that most horses couldn't get over without a spring board and a 12 pack of Red Bull in their system. Wonder of wonders poor Dunauger gets hung on the fence like a chicken carcass laid over a grill. It's disgusting that Harry asshelmet didn't stop before this last fence. I don't think they banned harry for long enough. He needs to be out of the biz for a few years, maybe then he'll learn to think about the horse instead of his ego.

Don't Mess With Magnum P.I.

Looks like a local trainwhore got her ass handed to her in court for selling Tom Selleck a defective horse.



Tom Selleck took Dolores Cuenca to court because the horse she sold him was constantly lame and couldn't compete. The jury awarded more than $187,000 when they found the actor was duped into buying a defective horse.

Del Mar equestrian Dolores Cuenca is accused of trying to pass off a show horse with a medical condition as fit to ride in competitions. Selleck's 20 year old daughter was unable to show the animal at the level promised.

The Ms Cuenca's attorneys argued that the purchaser didn't check the medical records of the 10-year-old gelding, Zorro.

Most of the jury's award is for the price of the horse, the rest is to cover stabling costs. Another trial next week will set the amount that Selleck should be paid in punitive damages.

If this is the same Zorro Show results then the horse was obviously in training for jumping at an early age. If he's ten in 2009 then he was six in 2005. Figure two years of training to make him that level of jumper and it's obvious why he's chronically lame. Most of the information I've pulled up on Ms. Cuenco is that she' an amateur/owner rider. So even the non-pros are getting in the bilking game.

The horse industry has a history of Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware. We all know of a horse trader or two that has shafted someone with a horse that wasn't the age, training level, or pedigree that was claimed. Now with the onset of two year old futurities in just about every sport, except jumping and dressage, purchasing a sound well trained show horse is a crap shoot. If the horse has a few major wins before he's three then you're probably looking at a short career and a second mortgage worth of hock injections. Mr. Selleck seems to have actually gotten mad at the fact that someone banked on him being too dumb, or embarrassed, to call them out for selling a horse that had obvious problems. I can understand why. If I paid $1,800.00 for a horse that ended up being defective then I'd be pissed. If I paid $120,000.00 I'd expect the horse to shit gold pellets and translate the Dead Sea Scrolls, as well as predict the next several sets of lottery numbers. Trying to screw a person over at that level of purchasing power is just plain stupid.

So let's examine the horse industry and some key indicators that there's a problem with buying and selling horses.

1) Too many futurities. This is the biggest red flag that the horse you're buying has already done too much. Unless you're purchasing a broodmare or stallion prospect then forget about the World Champion Futurity winner as a long term investment, unless you also own stock in Fort Dodge or Merial, in which case you'll get dividends back on every hock injection you buy. If the horse you're looking at has already racked up a shit load of points in under saddle classes and he'd barely past his third birthday then he's going to be a vet's wet dream as he racks up farm calls, injections, lay-ups etc. We've all seen what happens to those cute little gymnasts and skaters that compete in the Olympics. Once they hit their late teens they are wearing braces on their knees and ankles and popping Advil like it's a daily vitamin.

2) Trainwhores build their early reputations on being "just one of the guys", so you learn to trust them, but they build their marketability on the "mystic guru" crap to set themselves apart from us unwashed, shit shoveling heathens. Being a mystic is a tough line of work. It requires props, gimmicks and the ability to do things to horses that you know are morally wrong. There's a level of "turning a blind eye" that makes the bounced check scandal in the US Senate look paltry. If you're looking at a horse that is supposedly trained by a major trainwhore then be aware it's on a first name basis with its vet, was probably started and handled most of the time by an "apprentice" and has seen more gimmicks and gadgets than a Las Vegas hooker.

3) Those papers don't mean shit if you're buying a stock breed. AQHA, APHA and ApHC now have innocent third party rules that excuse poor and downright illegal breeding practices and allows a horse that doesn't match the DNA of the parents listed on its papers to produce progeny that retain breeding and show rights. So registration papers don't really mean shit in the stock breeds. If you're looking for pedigree integrity then go with a registry that requires DNA parentage verification upon registration. The stock breeds, which are by far the most populous breeds are also the last to require parentage verification for every single registration. So unless you saw the stallion breed the mare and you've seen the foal actually spit out from its mother's womb then don't count on those AQHA or ApHC papers being correct.

4) Genetic defects are becoming more prevalent. Unless you see them pull the samples that prove the horse is defect free then request new tests before shelling out huge sums of money on a horse. This is particularly true if you're buying a stock breed. People who breed those defective HYPP horses to win halter championships also have a hard time explaining to JQP as to why the horse they're looking at falls over when stressed out. HERDA is something that drives the cutting and reining horse breeders crazy. Pesky little life threatening skin condition makes it hard to inbreed, and actually keep the horse alive once the lesions start. A little less inbreeding would be a good thing, but unfortunately all those spins have made it too hard for the stock horse breeds to grasp that good husbandry means more than 25 crosses to Doc O'Lena.

How to avoid getting screwed when purchasing a show horse:

1) Check the show record. If the horse is registered then call the breed association and ask for his point record. If he's racked up the points in any under saddle classes before he was three then take a pass on him.

2) Request pedigree and genetic information. Really check the pedigree, go back six and seven generations, not just the standard three that come on the papers. Do internet searches on horses in the pedigree and see if any of them have HERDA, HYPP, SCID or any other nasty item.

3) Get a vet check. And don't use a vet that routinely comes to that barn. Get a vet from out of the area. Demand X-rays on knees, ankles and hocks. Have a spinal check done and definitely get a flexion test. Be specific about how you want to use the horse. A suitable walk-trot horse is not the same as a suitable upper level jumper.

4) Since most registries require photos or drawings on the papers check them against the markings on the horse. Horses rarely change face and leg markings, although sometimes scarring or roaning can make them look less defined. Check the parents' colors and make sure it's genetically possible for their colors to produce the color of the foal.

So even though as a potential show horse buyer you need to beware, you also need to be aware that many states now have "lemon laws" that cover horse purchases. Be sure to keep documentation on everything to do with your purchase. Don't assume that just because the seller is a BNT that you won't end up getting screwed.

With a Knick-Knack, Gimmick Tack, the trainer is a bone...head: Updated

We’ve all got equine icons we admire. Trainers and breeders we grew up worshiping and following their every word. We read every article about them, loved their horses as much as our own and tried to ride, dress and train just like them.

Sometimes our icons remained icons our entire lives and sometimes they take hard falls and became the worst of the worst. Recently Cleve Wells lost a lot of starry-eyed hanger-ons ( he also kept of bunch of “completely in denial” idiots too). An even earlier and much harsher fall from grace was Barney Ward, who decided that electrocuting the Olympic winner, Charisma, was more profitable than giving the great horse his well deserved retirement. My family has never forgiven Barney for Charisma’s death. To speak his name is to then spit in disgust. Thankfully the USEF put a lifetime ban on the SOB so he can never compete again.

There are several other big trainers that a lot of us grew up trying to emulate. Who remembers Buster Welch and his balanced bits and how he broke reining patterns down into separate components so any good-riding kid could teach his grade gelding to spin like a tornado? How about Martha Josey and her awesome barrel times and spirited gelding, Sonny Bit o’Both? They were awe-inspiring. No one that has ever watched dressage can forget Reiner Klimke and Ahlerich or Hilda Gurney and Keen. We even got to see Rodney Jenkins jump out at the Pima Fairgrounds, and until Joe Fargis came along Rodney was the hot thing on a horse!

One thing I’ve noticed about the big trainers is that nowadays it seems they are more into merchandising than they used to be. Buster Welch sold a few models of bits, and the Foremans endorsed cutting saddles. Beyond that there wasn’t the wholesale merchandising that you see today. With this new merchandising has come the proof that big name trainers (BNTs) aren’t about the horse anymore. They are about the money. In essence they are market whores, selling their name to pimp a product, regardless of how harmful that product would be in the hands of a beginner. Let’s give these people a new name; let’s call them Trainwhores.

I won’t even go into one of the early Trainwhores, Monty Roberts. He wrote a book and sold a whole lot of lunge ropes and halters to gullible people that had no idea what to do with the horse after they “joined” up with it. Real horseman already knew about working a horse within a space and treating it like the prey animal it started out as. P.T. Barnum had nothing on Monty, except maybe his circus was a bit bigger, but the shit smell was the same.

I’m going to list some of the industry Trainwhores, ones that I respected at one time and now think they are less about the horse and more about the money.

1)Pat Parelli . I apologize to readers for not including this biggest of Trainwhores the first time. Pat, where did you go wrong? Before the mysticism and the communal carrot stick you actually made some sense. Then somewhere in the mix you developed a mysticism that made Gawani Pony Boy look like a complete stiff. ( Thank God you never opted for the loin cloth!) Now you're cradling horse heads and acting like an equine Dr. Phil. WTF? We've got Horsenality, rope "hackamores", ( when I was growing up we called those rope halters, but to each his own), and probably the most expensive reins ever made from leadropes. Your DVD collection prices rival the stuff sold in the back of Hustler, although they probably do have better dialog and plot, but still, education should not be just for the rich. $999.00 for a boxed set? I may be an old horse gal, but for that much I want naked cowboys, lots of chocolate, the finest wine in a box money can buy, and that damn carrot stick better not be the longest, stiffest thing in the video. Do I need to head over to Gawani's site to get my money's worth? Pat, you've got a following of middle-aged, starry-eyed, my-daddy-never-bought-me-a-pony women that would rival Englebert Humperdink's groupies. You've got to quit stroking their egos and teach them how to actually manage a horse in real life situations, in acceptable regulation equipment.

2)Richard Shrake . I used to love to read Richard’s articles. Then I saw an ad for this little gimmick and knew Richard had turned to the dark side. Torture Device He calls his methods “Resistance Free” but it amounts to nothing more than making it painful for the horse to move out of the frame. The war bridle restraint device is nothing new. I’m just surprised that any decent trainer would recommend this product to new horse owners. Anyone that has had a horse flip over in front of them knows how dangerous these things can be. And what is with the bits? Bits that suck . Wouldn’t you think that the higher level the trainer, the less severe the bits? That’s the mantra we were raised on. Good western horsemen knew bosals, snaffles, a mild curb, and if they were creating an equine aristocrat they could work in a spade, but that was just for showing off, it wasn’t the every day bit. It was for the ballet sessions. English people used snaffles and either a short shanked Weymouth with a plain snaffle bridoon or if you have a low palate horse a short shanked Pelham. Twisted mouthpieces, or weird ports, were for abusers and idiots. Looks like that line has blurred now. Rule of thumb for anyone selling stuff like this to the open and unregulated horse world: At some point your crap will fall into the hands of a newbie and make some horse’s life miserable. Unless you want to start a fund to start a retirement house all the horses ruined by this crap then don’t sell this shit under your name.

3)The Camarillos. When I was growing up the Camarillos were GODS. Whether it was Roping or Barrel Racingall of us speed junkies followed their every move and read every word written about them. Sharon and Leo article from 1975
So WTF happened? What the hell is this shit and why is it being marketed to an industry that has one of the worst levels of incompetence and abuse?
Black Beauty chain gag curb This is the bit of the month? Ironic label, since a month is all you’d need with this bit to totally fuck up your horse for all time. Seriously, look at this crap! How did the early cowgirls even survive without all this junk? Totally screwed up bits. The elevated ring snaffle is just a travesty. It not only has a rough mouthpiece, it has a donut ring joiner and if you slap a curb chain on it ceases to be a true snaffle and becomes a curb/gag cross. I can just see horses with their noses poked out, shoulders disengaged, concave backs and hocks popping as they evade all collection with this piece of shit. The hack-a-gags are just a sign that a Trainwhore is in the house. Anyone pimping these useless pieces of shit isn’t concerned with producing a long term, sound minded horse. They are all about the act of compelling a horse to work through pain. Seriously Sharon, why did you go down this trail?

4)Anky Van Grunsven I could spend an entire blog on Anky just for the rolkur shit. But let’s ignore that for now and talk about how Anky has gone from being a dressage ring innovator to a Trainwhore. Anky likes to use “crank” nosebands.
For those of you unfamiliar with dressage equipment a crank noseband doesn’t just fasten like a regular one. It fasten by means of a strap that flips back through a ring and allows you to leverage the noseband to hitherto unknown degrees of tightness. Imagine a set of handcuffs clipped over your horse’s nose. He’s not going to be evading that bit wearing one of these gizmos. Crank nosebands are notorious for causing mouth sores as the tender inner cheek it pressed against the teeth the whole time the horse wears the noseband. They also create resentment and with a severe bit you could find yourself between the horse and the ground, wondering how come you suddenly know exactly how much your horse weighs and how sharp his withers are. Anky also has a clothing store. Really Expensive Crap to Wear to the Barn Yep, because I want to spend $150 bucks for a vest I can get at Wal-mart for $30.00. Anky’s heavy hands and crappy lower leg already piss me off, but her pimping of equipment that tortures a horse just makes her a huge Trainwhore.

5)Cleve Wells . Aside from the fact he got suspended for his part in the abuse of Slow Lopin Scotch Cleve is a major Trainwhore. He pimps a group of bits that should never see the inside of a horse’s mouth. These bits should serve no other purpose than to be used as
toilet paper hangers in a bunk house. Totally Fucked Up Curb Bits Do we really want to see these bits in the hands of some starry-eyed neophyte? How about a youth class? No? Because I really think any parent letting their kid ride with one of these pieces of shit is simply insane. Here’s a clue Cleve: If you’re such a good trainer you could get great results without these gimmick bits. I don’t care how many championships a trainer has, if they got them using these bits then they won by intimidation. Anyone that has ever worn a retainer knows how aggravating having a something stuck in your palate is. It aggravates you all day, and unlike a bit a retainer doesn’t move back and forth. And if you think we hate high port bits then you should know we despise twisted wire snaffles. Snaffles for Dickheads Cleve doesn’t seem to share our view, because he has several nasty models for sale, with the implication that they are great colt starting bits. Cleve, you’re not a horseman anymore. You’re a certified Trainwhore.

There are more Trainwhores out there, selling everything from bits to riding underwear. For the most part their items don’t cause a great deal of harm and may even help prevent wedgies during that extended trot. But there is definitely a group that promotes bits and gimmicks that cause a great deal of trauma to a horse, and potentially harm to a new rider that doesn’t understand the mechanics of a bit, martingale or surcingle. Certain items should require some kind of test before you can even buy them. And other items, such as hack-a-gags and really thin twisted wire mouthpieces should get you thrown into jail for animal abuse if you attempt to buy them. Let’s call these items “stupid bait”. Catalogs could show these items and if you click the shopping cart symbol the company knows you’re stupid and sends a notification to the authorities to pick you up and haul you to jail. You obviously can’t be trusted to own an animal or be around matches or sharp objects. You fell for the bait, and another horse’s life is saved!

Now that I’ve vented about the worst Trainwhores I can think of tell me about the ones that really piss you off!