Don't Mess With Magnum P.I.

Looks like a local trainwhore got her ass handed to her in court for selling Tom Selleck a defective horse.



Tom Selleck took Dolores Cuenca to court because the horse she sold him was constantly lame and couldn't compete. The jury awarded more than $187,000 when they found the actor was duped into buying a defective horse.

Del Mar equestrian Dolores Cuenca is accused of trying to pass off a show horse with a medical condition as fit to ride in competitions. Selleck's 20 year old daughter was unable to show the animal at the level promised.

The Ms Cuenca's attorneys argued that the purchaser didn't check the medical records of the 10-year-old gelding, Zorro.

Most of the jury's award is for the price of the horse, the rest is to cover stabling costs. Another trial next week will set the amount that Selleck should be paid in punitive damages.

If this is the same Zorro Show results then the horse was obviously in training for jumping at an early age. If he's ten in 2009 then he was six in 2005. Figure two years of training to make him that level of jumper and it's obvious why he's chronically lame. Most of the information I've pulled up on Ms. Cuenco is that she' an amateur/owner rider. So even the non-pros are getting in the bilking game.

The horse industry has a history of Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware. We all know of a horse trader or two that has shafted someone with a horse that wasn't the age, training level, or pedigree that was claimed. Now with the onset of two year old futurities in just about every sport, except jumping and dressage, purchasing a sound well trained show horse is a crap shoot. If the horse has a few major wins before he's three then you're probably looking at a short career and a second mortgage worth of hock injections. Mr. Selleck seems to have actually gotten mad at the fact that someone banked on him being too dumb, or embarrassed, to call them out for selling a horse that had obvious problems. I can understand why. If I paid $1,800.00 for a horse that ended up being defective then I'd be pissed. If I paid $120,000.00 I'd expect the horse to shit gold pellets and translate the Dead Sea Scrolls, as well as predict the next several sets of lottery numbers. Trying to screw a person over at that level of purchasing power is just plain stupid.

So let's examine the horse industry and some key indicators that there's a problem with buying and selling horses.

1) Too many futurities. This is the biggest red flag that the horse you're buying has already done too much. Unless you're purchasing a broodmare or stallion prospect then forget about the World Champion Futurity winner as a long term investment, unless you also own stock in Fort Dodge or Merial, in which case you'll get dividends back on every hock injection you buy. If the horse you're looking at has already racked up a shit load of points in under saddle classes and he'd barely past his third birthday then he's going to be a vet's wet dream as he racks up farm calls, injections, lay-ups etc. We've all seen what happens to those cute little gymnasts and skaters that compete in the Olympics. Once they hit their late teens they are wearing braces on their knees and ankles and popping Advil like it's a daily vitamin.

2) Trainwhores build their early reputations on being "just one of the guys", so you learn to trust them, but they build their marketability on the "mystic guru" crap to set themselves apart from us unwashed, shit shoveling heathens. Being a mystic is a tough line of work. It requires props, gimmicks and the ability to do things to horses that you know are morally wrong. There's a level of "turning a blind eye" that makes the bounced check scandal in the US Senate look paltry. If you're looking at a horse that is supposedly trained by a major trainwhore then be aware it's on a first name basis with its vet, was probably started and handled most of the time by an "apprentice" and has seen more gimmicks and gadgets than a Las Vegas hooker.

3) Those papers don't mean shit if you're buying a stock breed. AQHA, APHA and ApHC now have innocent third party rules that excuse poor and downright illegal breeding practices and allows a horse that doesn't match the DNA of the parents listed on its papers to produce progeny that retain breeding and show rights. So registration papers don't really mean shit in the stock breeds. If you're looking for pedigree integrity then go with a registry that requires DNA parentage verification upon registration. The stock breeds, which are by far the most populous breeds are also the last to require parentage verification for every single registration. So unless you saw the stallion breed the mare and you've seen the foal actually spit out from its mother's womb then don't count on those AQHA or ApHC papers being correct.

4) Genetic defects are becoming more prevalent. Unless you see them pull the samples that prove the horse is defect free then request new tests before shelling out huge sums of money on a horse. This is particularly true if you're buying a stock breed. People who breed those defective HYPP horses to win halter championships also have a hard time explaining to JQP as to why the horse they're looking at falls over when stressed out. HERDA is something that drives the cutting and reining horse breeders crazy. Pesky little life threatening skin condition makes it hard to inbreed, and actually keep the horse alive once the lesions start. A little less inbreeding would be a good thing, but unfortunately all those spins have made it too hard for the stock horse breeds to grasp that good husbandry means more than 25 crosses to Doc O'Lena.

How to avoid getting screwed when purchasing a show horse:

1) Check the show record. If the horse is registered then call the breed association and ask for his point record. If he's racked up the points in any under saddle classes before he was three then take a pass on him.

2) Request pedigree and genetic information. Really check the pedigree, go back six and seven generations, not just the standard three that come on the papers. Do internet searches on horses in the pedigree and see if any of them have HERDA, HYPP, SCID or any other nasty item.

3) Get a vet check. And don't use a vet that routinely comes to that barn. Get a vet from out of the area. Demand X-rays on knees, ankles and hocks. Have a spinal check done and definitely get a flexion test. Be specific about how you want to use the horse. A suitable walk-trot horse is not the same as a suitable upper level jumper.

4) Since most registries require photos or drawings on the papers check them against the markings on the horse. Horses rarely change face and leg markings, although sometimes scarring or roaning can make them look less defined. Check the parents' colors and make sure it's genetically possible for their colors to produce the color of the foal.

So even though as a potential show horse buyer you need to beware, you also need to be aware that many states now have "lemon laws" that cover horse purchases. Be sure to keep documentation on everything to do with your purchase. Don't assume that just because the seller is a BNT that you won't end up getting screwed.