Ponies on Ice!

I’ve seen a number of different horse breeds and disciplines in my life, but I’m always interested in new experiences and I like to see exotic horse breeds. Growing up in the southwest we didn’t get to experience a big spectrum of horse breeds, simply because the heat was too harsh for most of them. We rarely saw draft horses, or the big thoroughbred hunter types. I don’t think I ever saw a padded up walking horse or saddlebred until I moved to Phoenix. I see them a lot more now that I’ve moved east, but that doesn’t mean I’ve gotten used to the abuse or creepiness of their showing methods.

I have to admit to a certain lack of knowledge regarding gaited horses. I understand that they move differently than non-gaited horses. I get that most of them are born knowing how to gait. What I don’t get, as an observer, is why the riders do some of the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen in order to make their horses gait. If it’s a natural gait then why all the thumping, pumping, hunching, mouth ripping, leg flogging and over all unpleasantness? If I didn’t know better I’d say it was like watching a low rent porno moving, with an even worse script than usual.

I’ve recently discovered the horrors of the Icelandic Pony show ring. To me Icelandics always seemed to be the “untouched” pony breed. They are cute, shaggy, tolerant and unfettered by our glossy, and sometimes a little too glamorous, American show rings. Little did I know that they suffer abuses that would send most horses over the edge. They must be one of the most tolerate and forgiving breeds out there because I can’t imagine an Appaloosa or Arabian putting up with this kind of abusive shit.

Let’s examine the tack. They use long and narrow saddles (called Dig n Pinch) so that they pinch the withers and dig into the loins, causing hyper-flexion of the neck, so that the horse will gait. They add heavier shoes to these ponies, along with a set (or maybe a double set) of *protection* boots on the front legs (sound like the beginnings of the TWH world?). Besides adding weight, the protection boots do protect the legs because sometimes the legs are so crooked, they might cut off a foot with another leg. With the saddles digging into the loins, if the horse isn't gaiting well enough, the rider will sit on the cantle of the saddle. Oh, yeah, we're sure the ponies really love this. In case there's not enough speed to this gait, they tighten the noseband down really tight so the horses can't breathe well, hello! Welcome to a rush of adrenalin.

The big bits dig into their mouths with the tight nosebands, adding insult to injury (or injury to injury), as the riders brace in the stirrups, sit on the cantle, and put their full weight against the reins.

Here’s our first shining example of just how screwed-up a particular section of the horse world is. Welcome to the world of Icelandic Ponies. Unfortunately for these poor fellows they have fallen into the hands of some of Satan’s minions and are being abused all in the name of stepping higher and faster, as well as keeping the Piece of Shit Bit Industry going.



WTF is the idea of putting a flash noseband on a curb bit? Isn’t that a federal offense? How fricking cruel do you have to be? Look at the edge of this horse’s mouth? The last time I saw stretch marks like that was when Britney Spear’s showed her naked hoo-hoo to the paparazzi when she got out of her car. The horse has the same look on his face that a horse does when it gets twitched. It’s a “this is such fricking agony, I wish I was dead” look. I personally think the rider’s hands should be cut off and he should have to hold the reins in his teeth. Maybe then the dumb son of a bitch would understand what mouth pressure is about.






Here’s our next darling pony being abused.This idiot is riding with a snaffle, but who knows what mouth piece lurks in there, I’m guessing something you could use to saw a off tree limb. Again with the dropped noseband and lip ripping. These assholes should have to give birth to a kidney stone the size of a bowling ball to understand how bad it hurts to have your lips stretch like that. It’s also evident this is a pony; as in a very short equine. It’s also apparent the rider is tall, much too tall for this pony. What’s the matter, too chickenshit to pick on someone your own size?










Here’s the same pony, same idiot. Is that fricking ice that he’s being raced on? Am I fricking crazy or is ice a hard slippery substance that can cause a horse to fall and possibly break a leg? Wtf is this all about?Can’t you find some nice soft surface to abuse your horse on? The only good point would be if the pony fell and rolled over on your dumb ass and killed you. And by the way, I’m not a horse dentist, I don’t need to see his fricking tonsils as you try to drag him to a stop.











Pain! Pain! Pain! There is nothing appealing or pleasurable about this photo. Why the hell would you jack your horse’s head back behind its natural extension? Didn’t you stupid shits read Black Beauty and about the “bearing reins” that held a horse’s head up? I bet this poor horse roars like an asthmatic moose. Again with the lip ripping and the nosebands! Have you ever heard of bitless bridles people?














Seriously this is Satan’s number one minion. Look at the fricking shanks on that bit. I bet even Tennessee Walking Horse trainers accuse you of being abusive. For those of you that can’t see it clearly that is a shank bit with a curb strap and it’s at a 45-degree angle to the horse’s mouth. Can you say leverage? Again with the long stirrups! You are too fricking tall for this pony! Get a horse, better yet get a motorcycle with a barbwire seat. What’s with the hoof gaiters? This is supposed to be a naturally gaited horse. Here’s another clue for you, hyperextension of the neck is considered a bad thing in all other equine events.








Now if the above photos don’t offend you enough (and if they don’t you’ve obviously got a tolerance level for abuse that would have made Mengele proud) here are some links that just scream “Stupid Humans Are Ruining This Breed”

http://womenministers.government.is/media/W_Gallery/xlarge/31.jpg We joke about riders needing roller skates all the time, but this guy really does. This link is from the Icelandic Government’s site. They promote this shit riding and abuse!

http://www.eidfaxi.is/Uploads/images/gudmartyr.jpg. This photo has a better look at that hinky curb bit. What a piece of shit. And what is the deal with sitting on your horse’s hipbones? Can you imagine what this poor horse’s kidneys look like? And you’re too fricking tall for the pony you asshat!

http://i.pbase.com/g6/86/758586/2/83650549.dMMtX18a.jpg
Is that a fricking leveler noseband in a competition? Are you kidding me? Does that horse even have a tongue left? And this asshole is way to big for that pony.

http://myndir.eidfaxi.is/myndir/pic_499.jpg Are you fricking shitting me with the contact here? I have never ridden a horse in my life with that much contact, even the old shitty rental string horses I knew growing up. I can’t imagine any horse that hasn’t been beaten to within an inch of its life putting up with this crap.

http://myndir.eidfaxi.is/myndir/pic_573.jpg Future Abusers Of Icelandic Ponies Unite! WTF? The guy on the end is practically touching the floor with his toes! The pony’s legs are like an X, probably from holding his big ass up. The second pony also has crooked legs! I can guess why looking at the size of those riders.

http://myndir.eidfaxi.is/myndir/pic_7972.jpg There is nothing right with this photo. You are riding a gaited horse on hard ground. You are sitting on the horse’s kidneys. You are tugging his mouth like you do your dick on Saturday night. Your horse’s neck is hyper-extended and he’s got a flash noseband on with a curb bit. The only merit I can see to riding around that track is that it makes it easier for a good marksman to pick your dumb asses off one at a time!

If the still shots don’t piss you off enough then the videos are going to enrage you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C_JM9fOnMk Fall on ice with a too big rider.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJaDlfLBLtc&feature=related
You need killing! I could see your horses gaping mouth even at high speeds and on a shitty video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8TWTPIObZc&feature=related
Hall of Fame? More like Hall of Shame. You should all be on wanted posters at the Post Office!




Here's a closes up of an Icelandic bit. Does this look like something you'd put on your horse? Look at those fricking shanks!
















How about this beauty? Not only curb action, but also some nutcracker gag action! Whoo whoo, lets kill the tongue, chin, lips and poll all at once!














What the hell is this? A snaffle with a hard-on?
You have got to be freaking kidding me! I can't make this shit up. These are the bits used on the horses in the photos above!





I know the Icelandic is a good breed. I know there are people out there that love and respect the natural beauty of their ponies. Why the hell you don’t all gang up and kill the abusive bastards is beyond me. Clean up your industry, your ponies deserve better.

Welcome to the Pleasure Horse Forum

It's been a sheer delight to have you pop in and then stumble back to your forum and bitch about me, the blog, the children on the blog and the photos I used. Your letters of outrage have been most gratifying, and in some cases humorous.

I'll clear up a few misconceptions your insular little group has about me and this blog.

1) I love stock horses. I grew up with good stock horses and I appreciate good stock horses. What I do not like are good stock horses ruined by poor riding and stupid fads.

2) You can't justify plucking on your horse's reins every three strides. There's no reason for it. If your horse can't hold a frame for more than three strides then he isn't trained.

3) Constantly jabbing your horse with spurs while plucking the reins is stupid. Stop, go, stop, go. It boggles the mind that you think this is riding.

4) The rest of the equine world thinks western pleasure is a joke. You're right there with the Big Lick TWH people.

5) Cantering sideways is not indicative of a comfortable well trained horse.

6) The fact the poll on tail blocking showed a surge in yes votes for this cruel and unnecessary treatment shows that you don't have a problem with cheating or abuse.

7) This blog has an ISP tracker, I know where every single visitor comes from, so if you really want to make "ass whipping" threats be prepared to suffer the repercussions. Your ISP is a unique address right to your computer. Just ask Jack Abramoff how that works.

8) I love how you've now gone into speculating about my private life. For the record I'm not married and I have no kids. All this fanciful speculation because you don't have the balls to email me and ask. If you're all such a bunch of mind readers how come you can't figure out your horse hates being spurred and plucked at all the time?

9) You-Tube undercuts all of your bitching and moaning. Sorry, but there is just too much video evidence to show how crappy the pleasure industry is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4VcDMO98a0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M87fYgir2oc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-QFVmYkX3A&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7wpnZNnffM

These are not isolated incidents. There are entire classes full of leg pumping, rein plucking, spur jabbing riders out there and this is the evidence. If you don't want me to bitch about it then clean up the show ring.

English Drecquitation

Since I’ve enjoyed ragging on WP so much, and inciting the rage of the various Western Drecquers, I decided to be non-partisan and take aim at the crappy English equitation in the breed show rings. Those of us that have shows USEF hunter under saddle usually consider stabbing our eyes out with sporks while watching breed show hunter under saddle. It really is too painful to watch.

For some reason the stock horse industry decided to take a perfectly good sport, that had traditions, and standards, for hundreds of years, and turn it into a mechanical nightmare. Slapping an English saddle on a WP horse does not a hunter make. Instead it makes about as much sense as doing dressage on a Paso Fino. You’ve got no extension, no impulsion and no collection. And for those of you that read the western version and thought I was in favor of tight reins: you’re wrong. I want collection. Collection starts in the rear end, rounds the back, and lifts the shoulder at the base. Collection doesn’t even require a bridle. What is does require is a seat and good legs. A bridled horse collects with a touch and tension on the reins is an illusion. You ride a collected horse with your seat first and your hands only when finesse is needed. Let’s take a look at a few English Equitation standards. This first one is a handbook drawing.



This is from an actual equitation handbook. The rider is slightly forward at the trot, the heel and hip are in line, the shoulder and elbow are square and going straight to the rein. The rider has contact but the horse is not over bent. The eye is level with the withers. This horse could take two steps into a canter and head into a fence with no problem. This is what hunt seat is about. The intent is that at some point your hunter could pop over a fence. If your horse’s head is below level he’s not going to be able to elevate in order to jump.





Here’s a photo I like of an actual rider. The horse is relaxed and has great lines. It’s driving under itself and is working well on the bit. The reins are slack, but you can see the horse is collecting and pushing from behind. For the record the child is ten in this photo and the horse was bought as a 10 year old rehab that had chronic barn sourness and run away issues when the child started showing it. So we can forgive a few flaws, but overall it’s a nice photo and the child won the class of 18, over adult and more advanced riders. (those of you saying I don’t appreciate stock horse breeds can note that this is an Appaloosa, who also has Doc O’Lena breeding, so can’t get much stock horse than that) And for the record this mare has won high point at open and breed shows.

Here she is again coming into a downshift transition. She’s straightened up for the gait change, sitting deep, leg in line, heels down, hands nice and even, reins in contact but relaxed. Mare has her nose poked out a bit, but considering she was one of the worst rooters I’ve ever seen three months prior to this photo this is pretty good head set. Mare is rounded, working under herself to slow down without propping on the front. Nice relaxed photo. The child is even smiling, she’s enjoying the ride, hell the horse looks like she’s smiling too.
Now we drop a few levels in ability, and rise a few levels in expectations. We’re going to compare some top stock horse HUS riders on top bloodlines to a ten year old on a rehab horse.









Boy, sure love that foot jammed forward and the nice duck butt this gal has going. How about those slack reins but over flexed head? Can you say picked at so much this horse’s tongue is probably black? The head is at least level with the withers, but overall it looks strung out, downhill and uncomfortable.











First thing I find wrong is the fact the heels of the rider are up. WTF is the deal with that? You can see her entire knee is disengaged and her toes are down. If this horse propped or spooked her ass would be riding air. The horse has poor cadence. You can look at the leg angulations and see that the hind leg angle does not match the front leg angle on what should be the top of the stride, since both feet are flat on the ground. Mechanically I can tell you that the front foot of this horse hit the ground well before the hind foot did, making for a four beat trot. Yuck! Loose rein, way behind the vertical. There is a spur stop and a lot of plucking in this horse’s past.







Where do I begin? Leaned forward. This horse is walking, wtf is the rush to the fire? The heel is up. The head is too low. It’s like the hunchback took off from bell ringer duties and decided to take in a HUS class prior to matins. Horse has no collection, strung out, over flexed and not getting any relief from those heels digging in. Of course a quick buck would remove the annoyance from his back, because her seat is so weak she’d flick off like a booger from a redneck’s finger.









If this horse dropped his head below his withers and she ditched the vest this pair could just about win a stock horse HUS class. Heels up? Check. Bad posture? Check. Poor collection? Check. Ass bouncing out of the saddle? Check. We have a winner!

Dreck! Dreck! and more Dreck!

Western Drecquitation

I’m back to bitching about equitation. I grew up riding on a military base, with some seriously equitation ingrained instructors. Nothing like an old cavalry man to make you keep your heels down. It used to be that equitation was based on a balanced seat. You could run a plumb from the rider’s ear to their shoulder to their hip to their heel. Then you could run a line from the rider’s elbow to the wrist to the horse’s bit. These should be straight lines, not ones that look like the peaks and valleys on a heart monitor.

We stopped by a local show this weekend and the kids in it ride better than some of the industries top trainers. Do you think I’m kidding? Then look at the following examples and tell me I’m wrong. I’ve black barred the horses’ faces so they won’t suffer further embarrassment from being ridden by such poor trainers.


Here we’ve got a rather prominent WP trainer. For some reason his arm is behind the line from his ear, shoulder, hip, heel. His arm is straight to the horse’s bit, but his elbow is too far forward. According to AQHA rules the horse’s head is too low. Page 210 of the AQHA handbook states: (l) Faults that will be cause for disqualification, except in novice amateur or novice youth classes, which shall be faults scored according to severity: (1) Head carried too low (tip of ear below the withers consistently)
(2) Overflexing or straining neck in head carriage so the nose is carried behind the vertical consistently.
So why is this style placed so consistently? It looks like SHIT!

Here’s another winner:
Terrible lines, horse’s head too low, not using its rear end, crappy hands. He shouldn’t be able to win tenth in a class of nine.
Why is this shoddy riding excused? Even if every horse in the ring looked this way the judges can surely refuse to place the shitty riding.

Here’s another jewel: This guy is famous for the “lean back” style, although this isn’t the worst picture of it I’ve seen. This is another “top” trainer that looks like SHIT. What is with the hands? What is with the forward foot? Horse’s head is too low, face out of vertical and he’s got that nasty butt slump that tells us he’s not using his rear to move, he’s just skating along like a waterbug. My niece rides better than this and she’s just a kid.
I love this one; there simply aren’t enough words to say how wrong it is:

I love this one; there simply aren’t enough words to say how wrong it is:Head too low, nose out of vertical, poor body lines, slump butt and the horse’s ears are pinned. He’s embarrassed, probably ashamed too. He’s probably hoping he could get into a respectable line of work like carting Las Vegas prostitutes around, or hauling drugs across the border.

This one doesn’t bother me as much, in fact she’s doing a few things right, so the judge’s probably didn’t place her.
Her position is better than the others, even though her leg is still too far forward. Her horse is close to vertical, but he is happier looking and her reins are almost where they need to be. The horse’s butt is rounded and he doesn’t look as slumpy tense. But if this is the best we have in the ring then the entire western pleasure industry is in trouble.

Strangely enough, when I go outside of the stock horse industry I find all kinds of good riding and properly trained horses. This Morgan is striking, balanced and correctly on the bit. His eye is almost level with his withers, his face is vertical, he’s rounded and ready to work off his rear. I didn't cover his eye because he has no reason to be ashamed of his rider. He looks relaxed and happy. Her body lines are nice and she’s got her rein hand properly squared for using a rommal rein. Why can’t QH people ride like this? Is it too much to ask that they sit upright and properly aligned? Is it too much to ask that the horse is lively, alert, balanced and on the bit? I can go to any Morgan, ASB and Arabian western show and see better turn outs, better riding and happier horses in the western classes than you can at any stock horse show. It shouldn’t be this way! When will AQHA, APHA and ApHC actually require equitation and collection from their riders? What we're seeing is dreck, dreck and more dreck!

Associations that don't protect the horse: tail blocking gone wild

One of my biggest complaints with breed registries is how they ignore, and in some cases promote, abusive methods. The TWHBEA is a classic example, and they provide a whole lot of fodder for those of us that hate animal abuse. I’m not really fond of the saddlebred or other gaited horse associations either. They all suck; they all promote unnatural and unhealthy methods. And don’t come ranting to me about the Rocky Mountain and Kentucky Saddlers or Pasos, you’ve got your share of abusers too.

The stock horse industry isn’t far behind the gaited horse abusers. Training methods are just as remedial and abusive and the drugs use is rampant. Look at any stock horse breed rulebook and the list of drugs allowed in the show ring would make a New York City crack whore swoon with delight. I’m personally surprised more crack whores don’t get into showing horses, just because of the ease of acquiring high end drugs that would make your average smack trip seem like a day of sniffing Sharpies.

But, this isn’t a post about the drug abuse, this is a post returning to one of my earlier statements: WTF is going on with the tail blocking? Why isn’t every single horse organization out there banning this shit and then fining into penury every asshole trainer caught doing it?
It serves *no* purpose except to harm the horse. It can cause extensive scarring and injury, as well as making it impossible for the horse to poop or switch flies. It is such a vanity operation and merely outlines how morally bankrupt the horse industry has become.

Now I have to do something I hate to do, and I rarely do: I have to commend the AQHA for taking action against tail blocking and checking for it at their major shows. Just pisses me off to admit they do something right, because they are the leader in the drug/poor riding/bad trends/over-breeding/genetic defects races. I scrolled through all the online rulebooks I could find and none of the other stock breeds specifically ban tail blocking, although they do have sections about cosmetic alteration.

I have personal knowledge that the ApHC will not do anything about tail blocking. Neither the CEO (who isn’t about to piss off his big trainer buddies) nor the show manager (who isn’t about to do any extra work) are *ever* going to do shit about it. The big trainers need their blocked tails, drugs and shitty equipment so they can pretend they know how to work a horse. Here’s a hint: if you didn’t squeeze your horse into such artificial frames and start them so young you wouldn’t need the drugs, tail blocks and gimmicks. From what I can tell the NCHA, NRHA, PHBA, ABHA, POA and the rest of the stock breeds have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy on tail blocking. Don’t ask us if our sorry assed trainers break rules and abuse their horses and we’ll pretend that the breed we were formed to protect is actually being taken care of properly.

The Horse.com had a great article on tail blocking a few months back and it showcased the hazards of doing blocking, even if a vet does it. http://www.thehorse.com/ViewArticle.aspx?ID=12310

The photos are graphic, so I suggest you don’t eat while reading it. I guess the big question is *why* most breed organizations won’t take action. This is such a simple thing to fix. It requires no major changes that affect the majority of members. It helps the horse. And it shows the public that they organization actually cares about the horse. Of course I doubt the ApHC will ever do anything, at least while they have the current CEO in office, but I’d think that NCHA and NRHA, as bastions of AQHA supporters would step up and enforce a ban on it. This industry is about the horse right, not just the dumb ass trainers that like to cheat?